Look what I grew!!!

Can you believe it?!?!?! I had one cucumber ripen up a couple of days ago also, but the girls and I washed it and gobbled it up immediately. This is my first harvest of a few different things.

I love, love, LOVE my little patio garden.

The back story:
I once had a very nice house with a nice-sized backyard. Nathan and I searched and searched for THAT house for THAT reason. We wanted a big back yard for kids to play in and for me to have a garden. I had always wanted a garden. Starting 20 days after we moved in, we brought a new baby home every year that we lived in that house. That left little to no time for a garden.

When we moved fro GA to NC for Nathan to fulfill God's calling on him, I mourned having to prolong that dream...AGAIN. I pushed it forward and began to think about it in the far-off future...again. It was added to a growing list of things we would do "one day" when there was more space, more time.

This year,we decided to just plant a few things and see what happened. I started reading about container gardening in January and we were ready to plant at the beginning of April. I was excited that Nathan wanted to go ahead and try it out this year. We decided to plant a few things, with little-to-know expense, and just see what happened. We planted basil, stevia (a natural sweetener), mint, jalapenos, zucchini, yellow squash, sweet 100 tomatoes,cucumbers (free from someone who left the 1 inch seedlings at the church!), and rosemary.

I cannot tell you the JOY that I have had with my little garden. I love walking out there and checking the soil. I love filling my pitchers and watering the plants. Our entire household was buzzing was when we started to see buds of veggies coming onto the stems. I have learned a lot about patience that I didn't expect to learn. So today, it was quite the thrill to be able to pick a few veggies and know that WE helped these things grow with our own hands.

In our life, where we have committed to answer God's call on us regardless of sacrifice, we have many things that get put into the "maybe one day" category. It isn't because God desires for us to not have our dreams fulfilled, but more because God is teaching us to want what HE wants and to desire what HE desires. I believe that often, He wants us to discover that our dreams are indeed fulfilled in exactly what He has already given and planned for us. Thats what has happened with my little garden. I have learned that sometimes you just have to adjust your way of thinking about your desires and stop waiting for some BIG delivery. What you may see as a compromise on your dream, is really just God preparing your heart for Him to deliver BIG joy in a smaller package.

These pretty flowers attract the bees that are my hardest workers in the garden.

This is what we had with our dinner tonight. It was delicious. I am blessed with big veggie eaters. We are going enjoy eating our harvest this summer!

Wise Words To Live By

I have heard it said that imitation is the best form of flattery. However, it can also be evidence of psychological damage. Learning to know the difference is key. ~The Busy Mama

God Of This City

This afternoon, I sat here on the couch playing FARKLE (it is addictive!!) and heard my kids singing "God Of This City". There is something very hopeful about hearing those sweet voices singing the words, "Greater things are yet to come and greater things are still to be done in this City!" and "There is no one like our God!" . Their world will, inevitably be harder than ours was. However, they have the same sovereign Lord on their side.

Saved at 9. Left alone, in my sinful flesh, to sort it all out by 12. Sought that same, special love in all the wrong places by 19. With a heart more than just broken, was set in the path of a kind, compassionate soul at 20 and began to remember what unconditional love looked and felt like. At 23, saw my Abba Father running down the road to meet me as I finally came home.

All the while, He was there. He was waiting for me to step out of the pig pen and step one foot on the road to home, so that He could meet me MORE than halfway and show me love and comfort that I never knew was possible.

At 34,"Grateful" does not do my heart justice.

New look, New Photos!

I try to take portraits of the kids every 6 months or so. The ones that were on my sidebar before today were taken back in December, so I have been itching to update them. The kids are still changing so much that 6 months seems like an eternity when you compare the photos.

We spent a few days at Nathan's Grandmother's house this week. It was a nice time to unwind. There is no central air, so it was HOT, but it was a nice visit anyway. The kids LOVE it there and always have. This was our first trip there since Gran's funeral, over a year ago. We have tried to get back a few times, but something always got in the way. At first, it was hard being there- hard for Nathan and I, but also for the kids. Graycen was especially sad. I cannot tell you how grateful I am that our children have cherished memories from that place with their Gran-Gran. It is funny the things they rembembered and wanted to do, because they had always done them WITH Gran. Cooper wanted to walk out and "check the well". The "well" is nothing more than one of those fake-rock well covers that you can see all over NC, but Gran always took Cooper out to see the well, so he was ready to go out there as soon as we arrived.

Graycen got really sad after about 30 minutes there. She was looking through pictures and became a bit overwhelmed missing her Gran-Gran. Although a lot looks exactly the same there, so much is gone and different and it hit her harder than the rest. We held her and comforted her while I know her little heart was hurting. That has to be THE HARDEST part of being a parent. Even still, I am beyond joyful knowing that she holds those memories, even if they make her sad at times. I am grateful that we didn't procrastinate our time with Gran while she was here and that the kids really KNEW her before she went to Heaven.

Here are some of the photos I took while we were there. Enjoy!

Obviously, I love the porch on this house. This rocker is where Gran sat and watched the kids play. The house is old and tattered, but it has a certain charm that can't be duplicated. Our family has always loved our visits there and we hope to get in a few more before the property is sold or whatever ends up happening to it now that Gran is gone.

I will leave you with this picture of Annagail winking. She usually closes both eyes, but she practices and practices. Whether she actually got it here, or whether the shutter was just quicker I don't know. Either way, I love the picture of her!

Have a great weekend!!!

Ugh! Can I please pass the WHINE already?!?!?!

Most days, I am super-pumped about our future. Most days, I can take the uncertainty and the waiting. Today, on the other hand, isn't one of those days.

I will spare you the whine, but I have been on the verge of tears all day. Truthfully, I still feel great about where we are and about knowing that the Lord is in control. I am just feeling overwhlemed tonight by the sheer contrast of the two futures we are now planning for. Basically, it comes down to untrust. Most days, I am trusting and for that I am encouraged. Today though, I am not succeeding as well. Church tonight helped, because I was busy. I got in the car, however, and the tears started to well up again on the way home

I am grateful for Nathan, who is my best earthly counsel. If he doesn't have the answers, he at least knows how to distract me or get me laughing. I played a couple of rounds of MArioKart with Cooper tonight during his special time after bedtime. That is always nice.

SO, tomorrow is a new day and I am planning to put this one and the doubt that came with it behind me very soon.

Finding Treasures

Nathan and I are doing some cleaning/organizing/PURGING that will help a possible move go much smoother. In doing this, we have uncovered many little things that have made us smile like artwork from the kids, journals we kept over certain years ad old letters. I found one letter that made me cry. It made me cry, because it was written during a very special time in our lives, but also because it spoke to my heart and to the situation we are in now, waiting, praying and seeking God's will. Here it is:

***warning to male readers:there may be TMI in this letter for you. Consider yourself warned.*****


(dated July 13, 2006)

My dear Nathan,

I'm writing this letter to you, because I wanted to put into words exactly what I am feeling.You see, as I write this, I believe there is a pretty good chance that I am pregnant with our fifth baby. I won't know for certain and won't be able to find out for few weeks. I wanted to write it down ow, before all of the emotions set in and in case things get confusing.
If I find out that we have again been blessed with another blessing, I will be happy. My cycle wasn't "normal" this month and ovulation was VERY early. There was no way to predict this and only one way to explain it. It was God. He moved in our lives, so that His magnificence would be shown. Whether I am pregnant or not...

(I must have gotten called away, because the letter picks up here with a different date of July 18)

See?!?! Just like that it is now the 18th! That is how our life is right now! We may have the best of intent, but a lot of times life intercedes!! So, where was I???
OH! Whether I am pregnant or not, God will be glorified this month! This past month has been a hard transition for me. I am so happy about your new job and all of the benefits that come with it. The smile and confidence that I see returning to your face makes all of the hard work worth it.
More than ever before, I have found myself questioning how IN THE WORLD we could handle another baby?!?!?!?!? I mean, I am SO TIRED at the end of the day now that I could FALL OVER!!! I don't know how I could emotionally or mentally handle another baby. I even worry as to whether or not I can physically carry another baby!
However, there are a few other things that i can't imagine. I can't imagine exactly how much my heart will grow with love for another baby if God blesses again. I can't imagine how many tears of joy we will shed in those first few days of holding another teeny, tiny, bundled life in our arms.
Aaaaaaaaah, I hear my life beginning to wake up from naps, so I am going to say goodbye now. I love you! ~An

The great, great thing about finding this note today is that I found it while the baby I was speaking of in the letter climbed all over us. She is two now and I can't imagine our life without her. I was indeed just DAYS pregnant when I wrote this letter. Sitting here today, reading that letter, I was able to draw close comparisons from THOSE emotions to ones that I am feeling NOW. We aren't pregnant, but we are waiting to find out what direction the Lord intends our family to go. It is blessed assurance to look back on the near 3 years since I wrote this letter to my dear Nathan and see how faithful and glorious the Lord has been to us. I can look forward to our temporarily uncertain future with confidence that, just like He did then, He has a plan for us. Even if it isn't what WE had planned, it will be PERFECT, because it will be HIS plan.